What to do in Barcelona (and what not to Do)
Important information for American visitors planning a trip to Barcelona, Spain. What to do and what not to do in Barcelona.
Don't mention the war...or GW
Continental Europeans have a visceral distrust of all things American (though see below) and can get particularly jumpy at references to the Iraq war or, that villain of villains, G W Bush. Best to steer clear of these topics if you don't want to offend anyone.
Boobs.
Toplessness is commonplace on Barcelona's beaches. You'll see a whole variety of different breasts in Barcelona, from large to small, young to old; though most tend to hang around in pairs. On seeing your first set, best practice is to point, yell to your friends to come over, and then make a Cleaseau-style attempt to take a "covert" photo of said appendages. Spanish women are used to this and secretly proud that photos of their breasts are being passed round American university campuses.
Yes you Canada!
Lynchings of American citizens are now much less frequent in Barcelona, so there's no need to stick that Maple Leaf flag on your rucksack and pretend that you're Canadian.
Dress for easy identification.
Barcelona is famous for its dress-down, neo-hippy style, but why try to fit in? Americans should remember the standard US summer dress code: khaki shorts, pale blue polo shirt and white ankle length cotton socks above a pair of bought-for-the-trip sneakers. This easy-identification greatly facilitates the work of Embassy officials and Spanish law enforcement agencies.
Oh my God!!!!!!
The Spanish are proud of their reputation as the loudest Europeans and welcome the challenge presented by American citizens. Make sure you do your part for Uncle Sam: shouting across crowded bars, having loud conversations in restaurants and subjecting fellow metro* travellers to mp3 pollution should all help you keep the American end up. And of course, don't forget to screech "Oh my God!!!" whenever the opportunity arises.
* metro: a form of public transport**
**public transport: A form of Socialism on wheels.
Sí puedes!
The Spanish were disappointed to learn that they weren't eligible to vote in the US Presidential election. If they had been eligible, the vote for Obama would probably have been around 95%. Mentioning Obama should help you make friends and influence people here in Spain.
Ground Floor / First Floor
In the unlikely event that your Barcelona accommodation provider speaks comprehensible English, remember that he or she has probably learnt the "English" version of the English language whereby the floor at ground level is called the, ahem, "ground floor" not the "first floor" which is ONE level higher.
Smith & Weston
Gun possession is not legally required by the Spanish Constitution, in fact it's positively frowned upon, so make sure you leave your firearms at the airport before coming. This rule applies as much to citizens of the former Confederate states as it does to those from the north.
